nothings up these days
managed to spend time with hon today yayyyyyyy!!!!!!
went to eat at his workplace and i feel very ugh i dont feel like eating til tomorrow afternoon or something hahahaha

so the church camp was ok
havent been present for choir for some time i know
it was fathers day on sunday (yeah dont think ive forgotten)
i didnt have a present for daddy but i gave him a big hug its been very long since ive ever hugged him
it made me both happy and sad. i hardly give hugs to my dad anymore compared to last time
and today i was trying to make conversation with him and mom
something to do with the macdonalds cup and porridge
i saw him smile
then i closed the kitchen door and bawled my eyes out
i havent been a wonderful daughter lately
i see my dad less and less you know
like i dont go out very often, but at home all i do is to shut myself in the room watching skins and doing all sorts of crap

it hurts thinking about it you know
im losing him every second, every moment, but all i can do is to watch those seconds slip away
i cant do anything. i cant bring myself to tell my dad i want to spend more time with him
i just cannot
maybe thats the phase of growing up, but it probably pains me more because im a daddys girl by nature

you know

sigh

hun i miss you so much
dont ever slip away or leave ok?
one is enough...
and i dont want to go back to school.